Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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