im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
