Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
