Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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