We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
