Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
