You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
