Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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