like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
