True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
