i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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