if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize