So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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