Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
