I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
