I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
