If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
