i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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