Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
