I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We were destined to go to rehab together
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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