To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
