ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
