Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
