I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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