Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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