trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
