He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
