i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
