The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
that may or may not have been my penis.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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