I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
