This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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