Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Ketchup is God's man juice
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
