he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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