Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
