I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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