bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's Friday. Sex?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
