i don't like sucking hair
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
