That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
