Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
