just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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