I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Boobs speak an international language.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
