i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
