3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
