I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
