it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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