So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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