I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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