I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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