We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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