i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
