I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I CAN MOONWALK!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
