oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
