Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
