I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
