we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
