Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
