my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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