oh god the rape fog is back!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
