what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
