I just saw a hot homeless man
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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