Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
