I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
no you cant smoke seaweed
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
