I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
