My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
