im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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