OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
