I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize