walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
