dude i'm inner monologue high
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just high enough for therapy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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