everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
