The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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