Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
